Ask-A-Nun

A problem shared is a problem solved, we always say!

If you've got something troubling you, or you have anything you'd like to ask us, fire away! You can submit your question using the Get In Touch form. Remember dears, we're here to help!

  1. Why are there no questions here yet?
    -Bob, July 14th

    That's because no-one has asked us anything yet, dear.

    Soon we hope there will be lots of people keen for our advice! We do love to help- helping's one of the things we do best! Well, we certainly try.

    So, tell your friends, Bob! Maybe there will be a few more questions next time you Bob along by! (See what I did there?)

  2. Does God exist? If so, why is there so much pain and suffering in the world?
    -James, July 18th

    Hi James. Thanks for your question. Firstly, of course God exists. If you come to see us in Apocalypse: The Musical, you can see for yourself! Although I will admit that even we, as nuns, got a little confused when it came to identifying God. But no matter! We learned our lesson and that's the important thing.

    As to the question of suffering, you'll find that you are not alone in this complex theological quandary. THEODICY is a specific branch of theology and philosophy that attempts to reconcile the existence of evil or suffering in the world with the belief in an omniscient, omnipotent, and omnibenevolent God. Many different answers have been put forward to answer this question, James, but here are two that I find ring true from my personal experience. 1. Evil is propagated by the Devil in opposition to God. 2. As finite beings, how can we ever expect to fully understand the infinite?

    But keep asking questions, James! God likes enquiring minds. He also likes cookies.

  3. What do nuns wear under their habits?
    -Willhemina, July 19th

    That's a rather personal question, Willhemina, but I have said we are here to help so if this really is troubling you I will do my best to answer thoroughly.

    What a nun wears under her habit is down to her personal discretion, but I would not be approving if I were to find out that there was anything under there which was not duly decorous for a nun's duties serving God.

    As there is no daily knicker parade at our little convent, I cannot guarantee that each nun's undergarments would meet with my approval, but I would advise you to check back soon when we complete use #24, washing line, of our 101 Uses for an Ironing Board, which may reveal more than I'd like.

    Take care, and do try to think less about our underwear, Willhemina. It is slightly disconcerting, though I'm sure you have the best intentions- as do we all.

  4. I've been reading a book by a man named Milton and I'm very confused. What if Satan is actually good and God is evil?
    -Theo, July 29th

    The reason you're confused, Theo, is because you've got the wrong sources.

    "God is Good" (see Psalm 73:1), Satan is "the daddy of bad" (see Apocalypse: The Musical), and good and bad are antonyms (see the Oxford English Dictionary.)

    If you do come to see Apocalypse: The Musical, you'll see for yourself that it is easy to get confused, as we did ourselves, but then after all, "It's tricky" (see Run-D.M.C.).

    Therefore, Theo, God is Good, Satan is Bad, and you should buy a Bible and a Dictionary and forget this Milton nonsense.

  5. NUMBER 1 PRAYER...Pray GOD brings me my soulmate now. This is all i think about every waking moment, for 13 years...TORMENT...NUMBER 2 PRAYER...Pray GOD leads millions of people and puts it in the hearts and minds of millions of people to pray over all my online prayer requests.
    -Phil, August 22nd

    Hi Phil. Thanks for sharing.

    Now I'm no expert in the world of "dating", Phil-dear, after all, God is a nun's choice of soulmate! If I may make a tentative recommendation, though, there's probably a big rectanglular thing on your wall.* This is called a door, and beyond it are all sorts of wonderful things, including real actual people! 13 years' of online prayer requests is quite a dedicated mission, Phil, and although I'm sure God's got Broadband, don't forget that He, and the ladies, are also outdoors. So take a walk! Your soulmate could be in the park right now!

    *If, however, you're in Prison, the rectangular thing on the wall might be bars, in which case don't try to walk through it. The walk will have to wait. Sorry, dear. Keep praying!